Who knew that financial documents can actually be humorous, a breath of fresh air? The President’s report to shareholders is often crammed with incomprehensible business jargon. But here are excerpts from a letter that really is a breath of fresh air. The author is to be commended for telling it like it is. (I wish more businesses would forgo the jargon in favor of a bit of truth.)
It begins…
"We had a highly unsatisfactory year and it appears that 2006 will be worse…. Your Management has never experienced a more dismal short term outlook for our industry… We are truly caught in a pincer movement."
I don’t see a single piece of business jargon putting a spin on this! Amazing.
Here’s another rare paragraph from the same letter:
"What’s going to happen: The costs of energy may come down from these current levels, but over the long term energy costs will trend higher (barring a depression). Most other business costs will continue their upward spiral. As for the price of corn, if we had great confidence in our opinion, we probably wouldn’t be writing this letter. We guess that over the long term corn prices will increase, but for the next year or two… heck! You call it. We keep in mind what a successful survivor told us, "When things are looking bad, they’ll get worse.""
The closing paragraph:
"What’s the future: We are confident that we can successfully execute our new business objectives. We believe in our judgment and we have the will to work hard and long. We have dedicated and competent people, a strong balance sheet, and an excellent facility infrastructure. However, we make no guarantees, besides, they all have expiration dates."
This letter should win an award!
Unfortunately I do not know which company this is, or who the author of the letter is. Whoever they are may they live long and prosper!
